Moment:
February 15th, 2020 at 5:37 PM CST
”If you kill them with kindness, is that actually being kind?”
February is a month when we celebrate love: love for a significant other (Valentine’s Day), love for our friends (Galentine’s Day), and love for our pets (...Palentine’s Day?), and even love for ourselves (Singles Awareness Day!!). There are a ton of ways to show love, and Gary Chapman even broke down “The Five Love Languages” through which people show love: Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Yesterday marked the start of “Random Acts of Kindness Week,” which is an opportunity to show love and kindness to someone you don’t even know.
I’m going to talk a bit about the love language of that actually uses language: words of affirmation. I especially like this one, because unlike some of the other love languages, you can use words to affirm absolutely anyone, even a complete stranger. For example, the other day, I was walking out of my Physics exam and about to head home when two freshmen came up to me and introduced themselves, then asked me what my name was and how they could pray for me. It was honestly the sweetest thing, and afterwards, one of them gave me a note to read later (in the picture above). It was such a kind gesture, and I could not stop smiling the entire rest of the day. I even have it taped up above my desk now.
It’s really easy to just tell someone behind you in line that you like their shoes, or the cashier ringing up your order that their hair looks great, and those tiny acts of kindness go a long way. However, we sometimes forget to sprinkle those little affirmations on people that we DO know, like our friends and family, because we tend to take for granted that they know that they are loved and appreciated. But hearing those kind words from someone you care about often means a lot more than hearing them from a complete stranger, so it’s important to be intentional about showing love to the people that we care about. Simply saying hello, asking them how they’re doing, and letting them know you are thinking of them makes a world of difference.
This world can be such a critical place. I know so many people who struggle with body image, whether it be their weight, height, skin color, complexion, etc. They are unique and special and in God’s image, but they have been made to believe that they have to go on binge diets to slim down or fight the uphill battle to gain weight, hang on a doorframe to somehow get taller or slouch in every photo, and apply Fair&Lovely because their “rangu” is too dark or lay in the sun for hours to get tan to be considered beautiful. There are those who feel like they don’t have anything to contribute or be commended for because they aren’t the star of their sports team, the valedictorian of their graduating class, or the next Picasso.
We always blame the media for setting unrealistic standards, but the media just feeds off what we as a society give them, and it just gets perpetuated through the generations. We have to get rid of the notion that in order for someone to be 100% loved, they have to meet some arbitrary set of criteria, because the “standard” everyone is trying to reach doesn’t even exist. Instead, love people for their skin color, for their bodies that allow them to live life to the fullest, for their sense of humor, their intelligence, their talents, their strengths. Love them for their weaknesses, their failures, their struggles, and their fears. But don’t just love them silently, and instead speak encouragement into their lives, because the best way to show someone kindness and let them know that you love them, is to help them love themselves.
And while you’re at it, take a moment to be kind to yourself as well. Leave yourself a note on the mirror, appreciate something you accomplished, or (my personal favorite) remember what Veggietales always says: God made you special, and He loves you very much.
Hebrews 10:24-25a
“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another.”
